EXCLUSIVE TAIL-LESS SQUIRREL PHOTOS!
If you don't know the story behind the Squirrel, then check our re-printed story from Issue #4
by Whitney Kolwicz'04 - photos by Rob Waterman III'03 & Tom Waitzman'03

The Search for the Tail-less Squirrel
by Whitney Kolwicz '04

Rushing to grab some lunch with friends I wait in an extremely long line for a sandwich that I will only have 10 minutes to down before my next class.  As I am waiting my turn to order I become distracted by a conversation behind me. What piques my curiosity about this conversation is that the two girls are discussing squirrels.  Now I am thinking to myself, “Squirrels? Who would have a serious conversation about squirrels?”  These two girls seemed quite animated in their conversation, so I decided to try to see if I could get the jest of what was going on.

“Hey, have you seen that freaky squirrel?”

“Oh, you mean the one missing its tail?  Isn’t that crazy, it looks as though someone cut it off.”

“Yeah, the crazy thing about this squirrel is that it hangs out in a tree by GQ all the time!”

What?! A squirrel without a tail! I had to see this.  These girls had definitely sparked my interest, so I decided to see if I could find the “tail-less squirrel” while I was eating lunch.  I ordered quickly and tried to find a table near the windows, but they were all full.  It was okay though, because I had to get going to class anyway.  Who knew that finding this squirrel would become a project in itself. 

Later back in the Prosser Annex, I was asking my hall mates if they have heard about the tail-less squirrel.  Ladies and gentlemen, I have come to find out that I have been living in a bubble.  Everyone has heard of this so-called tail-less squirrel except me.  Now I would like to think of myself as a pretty observant person. I become interested in my surroundings. I mean, who doesn’t like to hear gossip and know what is going on around them?  I have obviously not been observant in this case though.  I have been in the dark on this tail-less squirrel business.

One of the girls in the hall told me how she saw the squirrel playing with a group of other squirrels and didn’t really notice how it didn’t have a tail until later.  She knew that there was something strange about the squirrel, but couldn’t quite put her finger on it.  How do you not notice that a squirrel is missing its tail?  Another of my hall mates told me how she sees the squirrel all the time and every time she does it freaks her out because it is just plain unnatural for a squirrel to be missing it’s tail. 

I have never before been so interested in seeing a squirrel until now.  I mean, I’m from Connecticut; there are squirrels around all the time.  I pretty much have to avoid hitting them with my car, unlike other friends of mine who try to hit the squirrels with their cars.  To me squirrels are basically annoying.  They seem to always be in the way.  Here at Muhlenberg though, squirrels are a part of the campus. They are an everyday occurrence.  I have found that they are not so much annoying, but interesting.  I have seen squirrels do the craziest things here.

One time as I was walking to class I saw a baby squirrel eat out of the hand of a random student.  Another time I saw a squirrel attack a guy minding his own business walking to class. I detract from the true point of my story though; I need to see this squirrel.  I am pretty sure that everyone on campus has seen this squirrel except me.  The trials and tribulations of this journey have been long.  It has been over a month now and I still have not found the squirrel.  Every chance I have had I sit by the windows at GQ in hopes that I will spot the tail-less squirrel.  Every time I return to the dorm more annoyed at not seeing this squirrel than when I left.  I have looked all over the place for this squirrel, on the way to class, when I eat at GQ, and all the times in between. 

After searching for this squirrel for over a month now I have decided that it just doesn’t exist.  However, on the chance that it does exist, I will not rest until I see this squirrel.  It is that important to me.  Really.  In truth, I really do not think that seeing this squirrel will fill a void in my life.  If anything it will just make annoyed that it has taken me this long to see it in the first place.  The one question I would like to ask you the reader is…  have you seen the squirrel?  It is my goal by the end of the semester that I will see this tail-less squirrel.  If you see him, please keep him in one place and then come and get me.  I’ll keep you posted. 

Back To The Main Page

Tell us what you think.

About this page.